They’re maintaining eye-contact and nodding slightly now and then. But are they really listening? Do they understand what you’re saying? Do they even care?
This person is a textbook passive listener. You’re getting no real feedback from them.
If you’ve ever asked the question, “Why is active listening so important?” it’s “conversations” like this one that answers it. You want more than a sounding board. You want real engagement.
So, what does active listening look like? And is it always better?
Active Vs. Passive Listening
What are the main differences between active listening and passive listening?
- Active listening is best for two-way communication, whereas passive listening is best for one-way communication.
- Active listeners react to what they’re hearing — with nonverbal cues, paraphrasing or repetition, and questions; passive listeners do not react.
- Active listening requires full attention and an effort to clarify and understand; passive listening requires little [if any] effort.
- Active listeners analyze what they’re hearing and summarize or paraphrase it to ensure they understand; passive listeners merely listen.
Differences aside, how do you practice active listening when the occasion requires it? And how can you encourage your conversation partners to do the same?
What is Passive Listening?
The passive listener doesn’t have a part in the communication. Their role is to simply listen. This is ideal for situations where a speaker addresses a group of people or when the listener is enjoying music on the radio, a podcast, or theater production.
It’s not ideal, though, for situations where the one speaking would like some feedback — or at least some proof that the listener is paying attention and making an effort to understand.
- Heart-to-heart conversations
- Doctor-patient conversations
- Therapist-client conversations
- Employer-employee conversations
In some cases, the speaker may only want a sounding board, in which case passive listening is all they want. But most people prefer a two-way conversation.
Passive Listening Examples
We’re all passive listeners sometimes. Here are some notable examples of when it makes sense to be one:
- Listening to an audio recording or live audio — podcast, audiobook, music album, radio, Spotify playlists, etc.
- Listening to a speaker — giving a presentation, addressing concerns at a meeting, or providing information and insight at a conference or convention
- Watching a recorded or live performance — movies, TV show, theater productions, Broadway plays, opera, concert, etc.
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What is Active Listening?
Active listening involves more effort than passive listening. The goal is to fully understand what the other person is saying, to avoid misunderstandings and erroneous assumptions. You do this by means of the following:
- Showing attention through encouraging body language and nonverbal cues.
- Reflecting on and analyzing the other’s words to determine what needs clarifying.
- Attending to the other’s nonverbal cues to pick up on what they’re not saying.
- Repeating the other’s words or phrases to ensure you heard correctly or to ask for clarification.
- Paraphrasing — expressing what you’ve heard in your own words to ensure you understand.
- Asking relevant questions to seek clarification.
- Summarizing what the other has said.
- Putting yourself in the other’s shoes to better understand their perspective.
To practice active listening, it’s also important to know what not to do in a conversation:
- Do not interrupt what the other is saying — either to finish the other’s sentence or to argue a point.
- Do not use impatient, dismissive, or closed body language: exaggerated sighs, eye-rolls, shoulder shrugs, glancing at the clock frequently, shaking your head, etc.
- Do not “pretend listen” with fake or exaggerated body language. It’s transparent and off-putting.
- Do not tune them out to think about what you want to say next or how you’re going to refute one of the points they’re trying to make.
- Do not offer advice unless the other person asks for it.
- Do not make it about you. No hijacking the conversation to make yourself the center of attention. Even if the other person is talking about you, focus on them.
Ideally, whenever two people are talking to each other, both are active listeners. Both give evidence of their full attention and desire to understand, as well as possible, what the other is saying.
One listener may be more active than the other, especially if one is distracted or wants to talk about something else. But the best conversations are those where both people are fully engaged. And active listening is the best way to ensure that.
Active Listening Examples
The better we get at active listening, the more we practice it. Here are some examples of situations where active listening is critical to the success of the conversation:
- A counselor/therapist listening to their client — Active listening is a more efficient way to reach a better understanding of the client than simply listening and taking notes.
- A parent listening to their child — Especially when the topic is sensitive, parents should always strive to understand their children and model the kind of listening they want them to learn.
- Couples listening to each other — Any loving relationship becomes healthier when both partners practice active listening with each other. Neither should be a mute sounding board or emotional sponge for the other.
- A doctor listening to a patient — Doctors and all medical professionals who meet with patients- should practice active listening whenever possible to understand what the other is trying to communicate and avoid misdiagnosis.
- An employer or manager listening to an employee — In any professional environment, those in leadership positions should commit to practicing active listening whenever an employee needs their attention. And vice-versa.
How will you use active listening and passive listening?
Now that you know the differences between active listening and passive listening, you know better than to say that active listening is always superior. But you’re also better equipped to practice active listening in one-on-one conversations.
Think about moments where you grew frustrated with passive listeners or with those who pretended to listen but were only listening for points they could argue with.
You deserve better. So do all the people in your life who need a good listener. May you always be the listener they need. And may you find the same for yourself.
The main difference between two types of communication; active listening and passive listening is that in active listening, the listener pays full attention to the speaker and his word while in passive listening, listener acts passively by receiving the message only without giving further external indications.
Comparison Chart
| Basis of Distinction | Active Listening | Passive Listening |
| Definition | Active listening means mindful and actively hearing and attempting to comprehend the meaning of the speakers. | Passive listening means showing like listening to the speaker but not making an attempt to comprehend the meanings. |
| Connectivity Level | Listener connects with the world and actively participates with the goal of problem-solving | Listener disconnects himself from the outsiders and has minimal interaction with others |
| Self-Responsibility | Take responsibility for their own learning and growth | Avoids responsibility for learning and problem-solving |
| Mental Approach | Sharp mind, alert to explore, reflect on the information | Accepts and retain information as-is with no intention to question or challenge the idea for improvement |
| Self-Motivation Level | Strong | Week |
| Engagement Level | High | Low |
| Will-Power | Strong-willed, interested in new ideas, open-minded | Narrow-minded, low or no will power, unreceptive to new ideas |
What is Active Listening?
Active listening is a form of listening communication where listeners actively listen and respond to the speaker. It is not necessary that when two persons are communication, they are listening each other actively. Half listening and half thinking are common distractions that occur. In both personal and professional life, listening is one of the most skills that a person must have. It can impact on your job effectiveness and the quality of relationships with others. To improve the level of active listening, you must pay attention to the other person. Make it sure you are trying not to distract easily. Business analyst suggests that if you want to increase your concentration level on what is saying on by the speaker, then he must try repeating speaker’s words mentally as he says them – this will reinforce his message and help you stay focused. To enhance listening or active listening skills, you need to allow the other person that you are listening to him. Active listening not stands for focusing on what the speaker is speaking about but also actively showing verbal and non-verbal signs of listening. This kind of listening is widely used in multiple situations like community organizing, public interest advocacy, tutoring, counseling, etc.
What is Passive Listening?
Passive listening is the listening where a person although listen to the others but not with full attention, he often distract himself from the ongoing discussion. He is sitting quietly without responding to what the speaker is saying. A common example of passive listening is listening to music or radio when you are doing something. In this scenario, although the music is running the listener is paying full attention to other work. To get engage with the speaker, quite often passive listening may require a few open-ended replies from the listeners, however, this technique requires focused concentration and minimal verbal feedback from the listener. Passive listening occurs when the listener has low self-motivation level, low engagement and avoids responsibility for learning and problem-solving. In passive listening, the listener accepts and retain information as-is with no intention to question or challenge the idea for improvement. He disconnects himself from others or shows minimum interest. By doing this, he creates the impediments for himself because in a time of need he forgets about what was said earlier. Overall, passive listening requires the listener to sit back quietly and absorb information contrasting active listening that requires engagement with the speaker as well.
Key Differences between Active Listening and Passive Listening
- In active listening, the listener shows interest through tone, eye contact and body language. While in passive listening, the listener is not involved, have a selective and ignoring attitude.
- Active listening is for listening for feelings and reflects understanding while passive listening results in a distraction from the topic.
- Generally, in active listening, we are genuinely interested hearing and understanding the other person’s point of view. While in passive listening we assumed that we have heard and understood correctly, but stay passive and don’t take measure to verify that.
- Active listening is a two-way communication because both speaker and listener are interacting with each other while passive listening is a one-way
- In active listening, the listener pays full attention by commenting, challenging the ideas and asking questions, whereas, in passive listening, the listener doesn’t react at all.
- Active listening requires effort because the listener has to be attentive while passive listening doesn’t require much effort.
- In passive listening, the listener only listens, whereas, in active listening, listener keeps himself in other activities like analyzing, evaluating and summarizing.
- Active listeners give more time to listening than talking while the passive listener listens to a few words and talk more or pay no attention to both areas.
- Active listener engages in intellectual exchange while passive listener hides or denies any form of intellect avoiding debates or giving options.
- Active listening means an open-minded, strong willed and having an interest in new ideas. Passive listening means being narrow-minded and unreceptive to new ideas.
- An active listener is always strong self-motivators who strive for personal development while the passive listener needs external reinforcement to be motivated.
- Active listening involves being shaped mind and often alert to explore, question and reflecting on the information. In passive listening, listener accepts and retains information as is with no intention to question or challenge the idea for improvement.